Today, we are going to talk about the three magic words, "I am sorry". That's how easy it is to apologize; wouldn't you think so? Well, apparently not, because people don't always say what they mean, and at times, they twist their words just to escape accountability.

When X (formerly Twitter) user moh__mi asked netizens to "apologize like a man," people couldn't hold back. Well, especially women, as they let out the most ridiculous and hilarious "apologies" that they have received from men, and trust us, almost all of these don't even sound like apologies!

More info: X

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: moh__mi

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To understand why men refuse to apologize, Bored Panda got in touch with a leading marriage therapist, Serafin Upton. She said, “I’ve observed countless couples navigate the nuances of apologies and accountability. Interestingly, one pattern often emerges: women tend to apologize more frequently than men. This isn’t merely an anecdotal observation but is backed by research.”

We also reached out to Sri Rajasekar, a marriage coach for women, who mentioned, “The tendency for women to apologize more frequently than men can be viewed through various lenses. While some interpretations suggest it reflects societal power dynamics, it’s essential to consider that both men and women navigate different expectations and pressures in relationships. “

When we asked Serafin, why some men refrain from apologizing. She explained that apologies can subtly reinforce social power dynamics, often positioning the apologizer as having less power than the person receiving the apology. She added that as men are socialized to avoid vulnerability and uphold a sense of dominance, they may perceive apologizing as a potential threat to their social standing.

Sri narrated, “Childhood socialization significantly impacts how both boys and girls learn to navigate accountability. Boys may be socialized to prioritize toughness and self-reliance, which can lead to less encouragement to express remorse openly. Conversely, girls often receive more social reinforcement for nurturing behaviors, including apologizing.”

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When speaking about the impacts on men who consistently avoid apologizing or taking accountability, Sri noted that it can lead to unresolved conflicts, eroded trust, and strained relationships. He also stressed that avoiding accountability can hinder personal growth and self-reflection, leading to patterns of defensiveness.

Serafin mentioned that avoiding apologies can also have a relational impact. “In my practice, I’ve seen how the avoidance of accountability often leads to lingering resentment and unresolved conflicts, undermining trust and security. Over time, these issues can escalate, leading to emotional disconnection or even relationship breakdown,” she added.

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According to Serafin, “When it comes to the type of apology, men and women often have different expectations. Research indicates that women show stronger physiological recovery when they receive more elaborate apologies, while men tend to respond better to simpler, more direct apologies.”

This suggests that women may value the emotional effort and sincerity conveyed in an apology, whereas men may prioritize efficiency and resolution, Serafin explained.

She also said, “I often encourage a shift away from the word ‘apology’ and instead use the term ‘acknowledgment.’ While an apology can imply that a clear wrongdoing has occurred, the reality is that in most relational conflicts, the core issue isn’t about assigning blame. Instead, it typically arises from unmet needs, miscommunication, or misaligned expectations.”

Serafin believes that rather than focusing on fault, it’s more helpful to understand the situation as a “misalignment” in communication. She thinks that the emphasis should be on addressing these unspoken needs or clarifying fears, rather than attributing fault.

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While concluding her interview, Serafin noted, “In my practice, I’ve found that the most resilient relationships are built on the foundations of empathy, vulnerability, and accountability. When both partners recognize their own contributions to conflict and take responsibility, they foster a profound and secure attachment dynamic that strengthens their bond over time.”

This definitely sounds like wonderful advice that couples can practice in their relationships. After all, if apologizing and taking accountability for your actions is a sure-shot way to create a healthy relationship, wouldn’t you want to give it a try?

Also, throughout the interview, Sri stressed how it’s important to recognize that many men value accountability and see the importance of apologies in maintaining healthy relationships. He also explained that many families and cultures encourage all children to value honesty and accountability equally.

“Avoiding apologies is not an inherent trait of all men; many actively engage in accountability and see positive outcomes in their relationships. Overall, the effects depend significantly on individual choices and the dynamics of specific relationships,” he concluded.

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Our experts definitely gave us something to think about when it comes to apologizing, whether you are a man or a woman. Well, that’s it from our end – now we hand over the platform to you as we want to hear your thoughts about the matter.

As you scroll down and enjoy the rest of the list, don’t hesitate to jot down your personal experiences in the comments about receiving apologies from men. We would be delighted to hear from you!