Parents-to-be have a lot of things to consider before welcoming a new life into the world. While diapers, bottles, food, clothes, and cribs may take up the most space in their minds, it’s also important to think about how the delivery itself is going to happen. This is where a birth plan comes into play, which allows parents to choose things they would like to include in it and helps to keep everyone on the same page.
This couple also meticulously planned how their baby’s delivery was going to go since they had a traumatic experience the first time. However, MIL wasn’t exactly satisfied with it as she wasn’t included, which caused quite the family drama.
Having a birthing plan in place is a great way to get everyone involved on the same page
Image credits: Wesley Tingey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Even though this MIL wasn’t included, she still tried squeezing into the birthing plan, which majorly stressed out the parents-to-be
Image credits: Ave Calvar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Medical-Bedroom-5243
Birth plan helps parents-to-be get organized and educated about their options and preferences
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“It’s your personalized wish list and ultimate road map through the entire process,” says Sherry Ross, MD, an ob-gyn and women’s sexual health expert, while explaining what a birth plan is.
It helps parents-to-be get organized and educated about their options and preferences before the delivery and usually includes every aspect associated with labor and the recovery for both the mother and the baby. Beforehand, parents have to think through things like pain medication, who should be in the delivery room, what position they’d like to give birth in, whether they’re saving the placenta, who can visit after birth, and so forth.
Along with such information, certified doula Jessica Lagrone recommends adding details and contacts of people who are of importance. “You should also include your doctor’s name so the nurses and on-call doctor know who to call for questions,” she says. “Really, anything that you want your medical team to know should be on the plan.”
Preparing for the logistics of the birth in advance also teaches parents things they might not be expecting to experience in the delivery room. “Because most people who are giving birth don’t work in labor and delivery, the topics that come up in the birth room are often new and unfamiliar,” says Rebekah Mustaleski, CPM-TN, a certified professional midwife. “Spending time beforehand reading about birth and the choices that are available gives the family time to make an informed decision about the care they’d like to receive.”
The most common companion that was present during delivery was the husband or partner
Image credits: Jimmy Conover/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One aspect of the birth plan that might in particular require a lot of thinking is who to allow in the delivery room during birth, as having a dedicated support person nearby is very important.
According to statistics, the most common companion that was present during delivery was the husband or partner (63.5%), followed by the mother or mother-in-law with 21.3%
When deciding who to include, the parent should keep in mind that the birth is all about them and their comfort. They should ask themselves, “Does this person make me feel comfortable?” “Do they have a clear understanding of my boundaries?” and “Are they capable of providing emotional support?” The person involved must tick all these boxes, as the birth of a child is a very emotionally charged event, which requires appropriate support.
However, chances are that some people highly anticipate being there for the delivery, while the parents might not be as happy at the thought of them being there. This means that they’ll have to turn them down nicely but firmly. Just remember, everyone is entitled to establish boundaries they feel comfortable with.
Once again, it’s important to emphasize that this should be done gracefully so no relationships are broken. Advice columnist Amy Alkon suggests saying something like this: “I love you so much and want to include you in the baby’s life to the nth degree, but giving birth is stressful for everyone, so I’d prefer it if you weren’t in the delivery room. We hope you understand.”
If the conversation isn’t going as planned and it ends up in hurt feelings or tension, it would be nice to follow up with a note: “Thank you for understanding our decision to keep the baby’s birth private. We can’t wait until the next day when she meets her amazing grandma/aunt/friend!”
The majority of readers thought the couple did the right thing
While some believed the ultimatum was ridiculous
The post MIL Is Shocked She Can’t Immediately Meet Grandchild: “As Stress-Free As Possible For My Wife” first appeared on Bored Panda.
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